This topic has always been an issue for many people and it’s becoming normal, but it shouldn’t. Trust is something that comes and goes…sometimes we don’t even know why. Obviously if someone lies, you know exactly why. But this isn’t always the case. Why can’t we trust someone? How can someone trust me? Trusting comes with actions and words, more actions if you ask me.
The Harvard University professor, Frances X. Frei says that the 3 main things that can build trust are: logic, authenticity and empathy.
Let’s focus in this 3 main things:
We’re in a difficult world, and sometimes it’s easier to focus on your life than the life of others. We don’t do it on purpose, sometimes we just don’t have time to focus on everyone else, but if you want to build trust with someone you need to dedicate time and energy to this person. The person needs to feel that you take time for them, that you listen and worry. It’s important that you demonstrate you’re not a selfish person who puts your needs before anybody else’s. Listening is the most effective way to demonstrate empathy and if you do this is important to withhold any type of judgement. In addition, you can open up to that person emotionally, talk about what you did in your day, without that person asking or talk about your experience in different topics (choose something that person likes). Another way is to give physical affection (as simple as a hug or a handshake), this will make you have a connection with this persons energy. Finally, offer help even if the don’t need it.
If you sometimes wonder why you can’t trust someone, this is probably it, authenticity. We can sniff if someone isn’t authentic in seconds. It’s important that the person knows you are being your true self, that you don’t act different when that person is around. But getting to the point, just be yourself! It’s easier when you’re around people who are like you, that’s a fact, but if you really want to gain trust, you need to be yourself.
This is key! It’s divided in quality and communication. In other words, the quality of your logic and the way you communicate it. We sometimes create twists, drama or mystery when we want to communicate something or say something and then contradict what you said, this makes communication difficult. You need to get to the point first and then explain your supporting evidence. It’s important that your actions are alined with your words, that way people can trust way you’re saying and doing. The quality comes with the language you use, the tone of voice, the writing or typing standards for better and clear express of the intended message.
What to consider when you want to communicate?
Find the right time
Talk face to face
Do not attack